Sparks on Marriage

Ever heard of Nicholas Sparks? He wrote several books that eventually became Hollywood blockbusters. Books like, The Notebook, Message in a Bottle, A Walk to Remember, and others. Here is an excerpt from his book, Three Weeks with My Brother. I found this section to be one of the most insightful. In fact, I would recommend this book to anyone. It was very well written and hard to put down. I finished it in less than a week! All 350 pages! Listen in to this conversation between Sparks and his brother Micah Sparks and I think you will see a little glimspe as to why I liked reading this book so much.

"What do you think the secret of a long-lasting marriage is?" Micah asked.

"I don't know if there is a secret. Every couple is different. What works for one might not work for another."

"I know. But if you could pick on thing, what would it be?"

....

"Commitment," I finally said. "Both people have to be committed. I think if two people are committed to the marriage, if they really want to make it work, then they'll find a way to do it. No matter what happnes in life. If you marry someone who isn't committed-or if you're not committed-and something goes wrong, the marriage won't make it. Marriage is hard."

"Hmm," is all Micah said.

"How about you? What do you think the secret is?"

"I have no idea. I've only been married for four years. But for me and Christine, I think it is communication. When we talk about issues and really open up to each other, things are great between us. When we keep things to ourselves, grudges and resentments build up and we end up arguing."

I said nothing.

"What? You don't thnk communication is important?"

I shrugged. "What good is talking if neither of you are really committed? If one of you had an affair or got addicted to drugs or was abusive, simply talking about it wouldn't take the hurt away. Or fix the trust that's been lost. In the end, marriage comes down to actions. I think people talk too much about the things that bother them, instead of actually doing the little things that keep a marriage strong. You have to know what your spouse needs from you, and then you do it. And you avoid doing the things that harm the relationship. If your spouse acts the same way, your marriage can make it through anything."